For Every Home

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Sorry it's been so long.

I'll try to give you a brief (as brief as possible) run down of all that has happened in the last six months. Wow! It's hard to believe it's been that long.

I spend Easter weekend in New Mexico with a dear friend. We went camping with his best friend's family and had a great time. I confess, at the time, I was hoping that, eventually, something more would come out of our friendship. About a month after my visit with him, I finally accepted that we can not be more than friends.

I'd been giddy about him since he found me on facebook. As soon as I accepted that we were only ever going to be friends, the giddy feeling evaporated. What I found in my heart after wards is the most amazing feeling I have ever had. It is one of Peace and Joy, a true gift from God.

To back up a little, in March I had the opportunity to travel to California to attend the baptism on one of my nieces. I'm very grateful for my father's generosity in getting me there. He was, also, there and we were able to sing a duet together for the first time that I can remember. It was wonderful.

While in California, Papa asked me if I would like to become friends with his friend, Rey. My response, "Sure, I can use all the friends I can get. We won't ever be more than friends because he's too short for me to wear heals and still be shorter than him; he lives in the Philippines and I'm NOT moving to the Philippines and I can't afford to sponsor him to the States, but I can use all the friends I can get." After that speech, (and, yes, I really did say that) Papa wrote to Rey about me suggesting that we become friends. Later, I learned that Papa was responding to a Spiritual prompting when he asked for my permission to suggest to Rey that we become friends.

So, Rey and I began communicating, mostly through letters and the occasional chat. At this time, I was still giddy over the friend in New Mexico. When the giddy feeling evaporated, the peace and joy I found underneath was for Rey. It truly took me by surprise, but it was so wonderful that I began praying about Rey and the feelings I had discovered.

Rey and I have grown to truly love each other over the months that have passed since then. We are great friends. Rey has truly been a blessing to me. We are excited to meet in person in a few more months. Meanwhile, the list of things we have in common, even though we live a world apart, continues to grow. I am amazed at the number of times we express the same thought at the same time during our chats.

On Mother's Day, Rey called me and sang to me. It was beautiful.

When Papa visited the Philippines again in May, Rey sent some things back to the States for Anna and I. I am amazed at his generosity and thoughtfulness. The two purses he picked out and sent to me are the nicest I have ever owned.

I am looking forward to Rey teaching me to Tango. He competed in ballroom dance in high school and the Tango is his favorite. I love to dance, too.

The most important thing we have in common, is the Gospel of Jesus Christ and our commitment to it.

I have truly been blessed.

It's been a month.

It's been a month since my last post. It's been six months since the day my life was turned upside down. I'm still dealing with several challenges dues to the poor (to say the least) choices of someone I trusted. I'm grateful to be nearly completely free from him and his family of origin. I'm very grateful for the love and support that as been poored out upon Anna and I.

Bella decided it was time for me to get new glasses this week. She told me this by eating my old ones. So, after nearly four and a half years, I bit the bullet, so to speak, and got my eyes checked. I do have a new prescription which I had filled at Eyeglass World where I was able to get two pairs of glasses for the price of one. This way, if Bella ever manages to get ahold of my glasses again, I will have a spare pair.

My glasses are going well and I am pleased with the grades that I'm getting.

I happened to find some really nice sheets on a really good sale this week. I purchased one set and intend to go back and get another set. This way I can get rid of the ones that remind me of someone I'd rather forget. I chose to embrass my singleness and bought plum colored sheets. I truly am glad I did. It's nice not having to worry about whether someone else will like the color I chose.

I donated blood for the first time in thirteen years on Friday. Thirteen years ago, I vomited before they had even finished drawing the blood and then spent at least thirty minutes passed out. Friday, I did donate the contents of my stomach as well as a pint of blood, but they were able to finish drawing the blood first and I didn't pass out. Mom reminded me that I passed out when I lost my first tooth. I'll see how I feel about trying again when the next blood drive comes along.

It snowed all day and all night yesterday. I had to shovel a foot of snow before I could get my car out of the driveway today. Doing so left me feeling weak and woozy again.

I sang a special musical number in Relief Society this morning and had the priviledge of singing a solo during the choir number in Sacrament Meeting. I'm very grateful for the opportunities I've had recently to share this talent.

Valentine's Day 2010

I took my first CIL exam on Monday. It probably took me about ten minutes to complete the 45 mulitiple choices questions. I got 95.5% of them correct. It feels good to be succeeding in my classes.

Anna is making progress again in the residential program that she is in. She begged me all week to get her a Twilight poster for Valentine's Day. I thought long and hard about whether or not to get her one. I decided to go ahead and get her one, figuring that if I didn't someone else would and this way I got to choose it. She is absolutely obsessed with the Twilight Saga right now. She loved the poster that I got for her. I also took her a cute little teddy bear with converstion hearts on it. She liked it, too. I love her so much.

My temporary position at the Health Department ended this week. I miss it already. It was the best job I've ever had.

I was able to attend Anna's neurology appointment with her on Thursday. It was good that I was there as the doctor had some questions that the program staff person who was with Anna was not able to answer. Anna has continued to grow and is now nearly 58" tall and about 101 pounds. That's at least a ten pound gain since September 2009. It's no wonder her antiseizure medication wasn't working as well. The doctor increased her dose. We are hopeful that the medication will eventually stop the seizures.

I have continued to get to know again the friend that contacted me last week. We discussed the possibility of him visiting. I am looking forward to seeing him. Everyone that I've talked to that remembers him remembers him as being very sweet, protective and overall a great guy.

Reconnecting

This week, while having it's challenges, also had it's joys. Anna asked me if the Bishop could give her a blessing this week. This is the first time she has asked for a blessing without being prompted. It was great. I made arrangements for the Bishop and his counselors to be added to her contact list. As soon as they were, she called the Bishop and asked him herself. It was arranged and took place yesterday. When the Bishop asked her why she wanted a blessing, she said to help her complete the program so she can come home. She is growing up so much. I miss her and love her very much.

I have been very pleasently surprised this week. I received a friend request from someone I haven't seen in almost thirteen years. He took me to my Senior Prom nearly fifteen years ago. We have been emailing and redeveloping our friendship all week. It's been really nice and has put a smile on my face that I can't, and don't want to, get rid of. He's been through, and is going through some challenging times. So, we are able to be a great support to each other. I'm very grateful to have reconnected with this friend.

I did well in my classes this week. I aced at least two quizzes. I am thoroughly enjoying being in school again.

I submitted four resumes and applications on Friday. I will put some more out this week. Hopefully, I won't be unemployed for long. I only have approximately twenty hours left at my favorite job ever. It always was temporary, though. I will be watching for when they have permanent jobs available.

I took the opportunity to attend the Oquirrh Mountain Temple yesterday evening. It's so wonderful to be able to attend regularly.

Challenges

This week has brought and continued several challenges. I received notice at work that my job is ending due to lack of funds. I have two more weeks there. I was encouraged to watch for openings there in the future. So, I'm job hunting again.
I received the paperwork on the CPS investigation and have started filling it out. I am requesting an administrative hearing because I know they did NOT do a thorough investigation, and I'm NOT okay with the potential long term effects of their "findings."
I received a response from the ex's sister to the Protective Order I filed against her. Basically, she is accusing me of harrassing them, of selling stuff secretly, and of lying about her voice message is September, among other things. Unfortunately for her, there is a police report about her message, and she will be hard pressed to prove I'm harrassing them since I'm not. I simply want them to leave me alone.
Anna told me that she told her therapist some things that will likely make things more challenging to me in my efforts to help her heal and to protect her from futher harm. I really hope her therapist will help us over come the misunderstanding that Anna has about my ability to read her mind.
Sunday School today was challenging. We were discussing the correlation between Cain and Abel. As the instructor added things to Abel's list and the opposite to Cain's list, I kept seeing parallels in my own life, inparticular, with the ex and myself. I haven't wanted to think of him as evil, but today I was brought face to face with the relization that, in a very reall way, he made choices very similar to those that Cain made. I am grateful to be able to say that my choices have been more similar to Abel's and I plan to continue with those types of choices.
On a more positive note, the Lord has continued to bless me. I took an exam for my Economics class and scored 79.5%. I'm pretty pleased. My car continues to run for me and I have made significant progress on the assignments due in my classes next weekend. I do truly enjoy my classes. I am grateful that I was able to enjoy a good visit with Anna. We were able to talk about some serious subjects without getting upset or shutting down. I am grateful for all the prayers said in our behalf. Please, include us in your fasts next week. Thank you.

Busy week

Last week was very busy. I worked about 40 hours and got caught up on my school work. I was up late last night finishing it so that I wouldn't have to work on it today, Sunday. I am determined to keep Sundays free from school work, and I know I will be blessed for doing so.
I received very good news from my therapist. He said, based on my scores on some questionaires that I have done for him, that I have reached the point where we can definitely start cutting back on sessions. I have made a lot of progress with him. He is a fabulous therapist and Heavenly Father brought him into my life.
When I arrived for Family Therapy Tuesday night, Anna came running to me and hugged me. She has only run to me for a hug once before, more than three and a half years ago.
We were in court on Wednesday. I was able to have a Protective Order served on the ex's sister. Anna freaked out when she saw her and started crying again when her husband entered the court room. He was quickly asked to leave by the Judge. I am hopeful that Anna will be able to come home when she finishes the program she is currently in. I learned that Anna has been calling her caseworker every day to tell her she wants to come home. Anna, also, had her GAL stand up and tell the Judge that she wants to come home to live with me. The Judge said she has to finish the program she is in first. Anna had her report card with her and was very pleased with her grades. She had straight As and insisted on showing the Judge.
Thursday night, I attend a support group meeting for victims of domestic violence. It was good and I look forward to attending again as my work schedule allows.
Firday, I helped with a flu clinic. We gave almost 70 H1N1 vaccinations that day and a dozen or so more the next.
Saturday afternoon, I was able to visit Anna. We had a good visit and played games for most of it. Toward the end of the visit, we were playing Memory and Anna started to try to cheat. I wouldn't let her cheat. She chose to get upset. As I was driving home, it occurred to me that she may have done that in an attempt to make the parting less painful for herself. The parting is the hardest thing about the visits. She did call me last night and we enjoyed a pleasant conversation over the phone.
I received a little story in my email this week that really touched me. I don't know who wrote it, but I'd like to share it.
Potato Chips with God
A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smileever. When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!" Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied! "I ate potato chips in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected." Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Week of Bombs

Every other day last week, I had another "bomb" dropped on me, from new battles waiting to be fought to old battles I thought I had won rearing their ugly heads. Gratefully, in the midst of these trials, I have been blessed tremendously. I am grateful for the friend and neighbor who keeps an eye on my house when I'm not home and takes such good care of Bella, our dog, while I'm at work. I am grateful for the home teacher who has made arrangements to give me a blessing whenever I have asked. I am grateful for all the people, professionals, friends and family who have pledged to support and help me however they can. I am grateful for the therapists who are working with Anna and me, individually and together. I am grateful for the friends who accompanied me to the city yesterday to make a difficult trip easier. I am grateful for the attorney who is working to free me from the oppression imposed on me by abusive individuals. I am grateful for my job and the people I have the pleasure to work with. I am grateful for all the hugs I received today. I am grateful for to have started my classes, working toward an Accounting Degree. I am grateful for my Bishop and his support and advice. I am grateful that I got to visit with Anna yesterday and talk with her tonight. I am grateful for the love and support of all of my family, near and far. I am grateful that my car continues to start with a battery that should be long dead. I am grateful for inspiration, for my Savior and for my testimony. I am grateful to be on the path of healing. I am grateful to know who I am-a beloved daughter of God.